Compilation of Wynpress
International Toast Speaker Introduction Speaker Thanks
IF YOU CANNOT MAKE YOUR ROSTERED DATE, PLEASE SWAP WITH ANOTHER ROTARIAN AND INFORM THE DUTY SERGEANT
JACKPOT The jackpot reached a new record high of R2 850, which presumably was enough for Graham to ensure that his name was drawn. Unfortunately for him he wasn’t feeling well, and his sleight of hand skills weren’t up to the task of choosing the right card. Mervyn took home the R25 attendance prize.
PRESIDENT’S QUOTE President Mike turned to Lady Gaga for inspiration this week. “It doesn’t matter who you are, or where you come from, or how much money you’ve got in your pocket. You have your own destiny and your own life ahead of you.” “Love is like a brick. You can build a house, or you can sink a dead body.” “I’ve always been famous, it’s just no one knew it yet.”
TAILPIECE For some reason this Australian joke made me think of String- Ed A bloke’s wife goes missing while diving off the West Australian Coast. He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her. Next morning there’s a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable. The Sarge says, ‘Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news’. ‘Well,’ says the bloke, ‘I guess I’d better have the bad news first?’ The Sarge says, ‘I’m really sorry mate, but your wife is dead. Young Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead.’ The bloke is naturally distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a turn. But after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the good news is. The Sarge says, ‘Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few really good sized lobsters and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we’ve brought you your share.’ He hands the bloke a bag with a couple of nice lobsters and four or five crabs in it. ‘Geez thanks. They’re bloody beauties. I guess it’s an ill wind and all that… So what’s the other possible good news? ‘Well’, the Sarge says, ‘if you fancy a quick trip, me and young Bill here get off duty at around 11 o’clock and we’re gonna shoot over there and pull her up again.